Machete (2010)

4 stars

"I absolve you of all your sins. Now get the f*ck out." (Padre)

"We didn't cross the border. The border crossed us." (Santana)

"Machete don't text." (Machete)

Once I was browsing viewers' comments on the film in the Internet and surely, I read some pretty good responds written by guys who greatly enjoyed the flick. Nevertheless, some negative remarks wormed their way into the feedback flow and they were left by girls. It was super amusing to look through such critical mini reviews, like for instance, a gal complained that she never saw such an awful film the first sequences of which made her want to throw up. C'mon, folks, before going to the movies, find out what the film you're going to see.

"Machete" is a perfectly balanced slaughter film with, so to say, moderate violence, sufficient humor and some big stars. Quentin Tarantino's soulmate Robert Rodriguez combined a lot in one flick: it's a tale about justice, segregation, revenge, perfidy, bloody murders, charismatic and fun personalities, and about how Lindsay Lohan got into a nun's outfit. Danny Trejo as Machete, Michelle Rodriguez as the courageous rebellion leader and Robert De Niro as a crafty politician did their best and look awesome in their parts. Personally for me, Steven Seagal's cameo passed almost unnoticed but who knows, maybe, that was the plan. One of the most interesting characters is the padre played by Cheech Marin whose part is also the most humorous one. Gorgeous Jessica Alba adds some share of reasoning and triviality, that is quite a smart balancing move. The only one part that disappointed me was the role by Lindsay Lohan for I expected her to be cool and tough like Michelle Rodriguez's Latin American warrior but not a shallow daughter of a rich bad guy performed by Jeff Fahey. Plus, the nun's clothing. Great idea but didn't work. In such a ball game.

"Machete" is a pure fun and absolute rest from the troublesome life, although still, the film raises the questions of inequality and xenophobia. If there are any sequels, I'll be anticipating them.

PS I called violence in the flick to be moderate but if you're not into such films, you may call me a liar after watching it. It's just my subjective opinion, so don't blame me if yours is different. And, everybody, please, feel free to share your point of view.

Rating: 4 stars (see what that means)